I have come to the realization lately that so. many. people. hand-pick their “groups”. This includes groups at Church, people to sit with at lunch, and yes, even households* at Franciscan University. (cue collective gasp) But you know what? It severely limits what you learn. When you let the mom of 5 help with youth group, the teens can learn from her. If you sit with the guy whose major is completely opposite from yours, you can learn from him. And when your household is made up of girls (or guys) who are NOT cookie cutter molds of yourself, you can learn from them!
I wrote here about my need for trust. At the time, I wasn’t ready to share yet, but now, I am. When I wrote that, I had just been rejected from a household. That’s actually not supposed to ever happen, yet as I gradually talked to more and more people, I realized that I’m not the only person who has been rejected from this particular household. For the last two semesters, I did a lot of questioning. Why wasn’t I allowed in? Why? Why did those girls get in, and I didn’t? You know, today, as much as it hurts to not be in household, I am glad I didn’t get in. Well ... kind of. It’s one of the most painful situations I’ve ever lived through. But joining that household would’ve been detrimental to me.
Maybe the girls who made the decision and I weren’t alike enough. Maybe I didn’t have enough in common with them for their liking. Know what? That’s ok! I don’t want to only spend time with those whom I agree with all the time. I need to grow out from myself, not become more like one single kind of person. Maybe now, I will be able to discover who I am, not be swallowed by one dominating personality.
I hope that I don’t sound bitter. I was a big fan of that household, and many people have randomly told me that they can see me joining. But I also hope that you understand what I’m saying.
Let’s welcome people who aren’t in “our” group.
Let’s throw out the cookie cutter.
*(Households are groups of men or women, united in brotherhood or sisterhood, who focus on a specific charism, or aspect of the Catholic faith. They were started at Franciscan, and have spread to a couple other college campuses around the States. If you're having a hard time picturing what this is like, you can kinda imagine an awesome solid Catholic sorority or fraternity.)