Don’t run; stop holding your tongue.
Show me how big your brave is.
I've realized that I am way too perfectionistic in the communication part of my life. This actually ties in with something that I mentioned in my last post, where I mentioned my lack of keeping in touch. It plays out in so many ways: I'm afraid of wording things incorrectly, saying something I don't mean when I'm in conversation, or making a mistake in my "fun" writing. I go so far as to draft letters to friends 3-5 times before writing the final version, and I type many letters up before mailing them in case I “need” to refer back to them later. It keeps me from putting my words out there all too often.
I’ve come to discover that I am very easy to interrupt. I don’t know why this is. (If you are friends with me and know why this happens, please inform me, via text, blog comment, email, phone call, letter, or any other form of communication. I’m serious.) I am tempted to think it’s because I just hesitate a lot when I speak, because I want to make absolutely sure that I say what I mean to say. It’s also tied into the fact that I’m extreme introvert, and my Myers-Briggs personality report tells me that I “always think before I speak”. Why yes, that’s true. But why the perfectionism in speaking?
Interestingly, I don’t think half as much with my very close friends. Once I start to become more comfortable with someone, I think less and less before speaking to them. They will probably tell you otherwise, but I like to think that I have better un-planned conversations than the planned ones. If I have a casual yet deep conversation with someone, it’s generally a good indicator that I think highly of them and feel comfortable enough around them to not feel it necessary to plan out my next sentence. Why this perfectionism with words?
I remember realizing that not everyone plans their next sentence. I wondered why not; what if they say something that’s taken the wrong way? It’s a vicious circle: I feel it necessary to plan my words out, so I take at least 5-10 minutes memorizing the exact phrasing, and by the time I’ve prepared myself for what I’m going to say, the opportunity has passed and there’s another subject. So I succeed in convincing myself that I’m 1000% introverted (no, that extra ‘0’ wasn’t a typo) and that planning those words is absolutely necessary for me to be coherent. Surprise! friends, it’s not.
I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you want to say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly I want to see you be brave.
This little corner of the internet is a place that I feel like I am both very free to say whatever, and at the same time, feel trapped. I don’t have fear of saying things like “I don’t think the Sadie Hawkins is a great idea” or “I had a hard time in relationships with my siblings when I was younger, but now it’s great!” What those reading don’t realize is the hours it takes me to write, edit, re-edit, think about the consequences of posting x, y, or z, and edit once again. Usually my posts take days to write, simply because I never feel like it’s good enough or that one person will take it the wrong way. It's draining to feel incompetent in this area that I feel like I should be a part of.
I’m attempting to do a better job of just letting my words flow. Of trusting myself enough to know I’m not going to say something idiotic every single time I open my mouth. To know those around me well enough to recognize my words won’t be mocked or criticized when I speak or write them. To not edit the words I write to oblivion. Because ultimately, it destroys the sentiment and obliterates the original feeling and meaning I give them.
Know what I’ve realized? it’s ok if people misunderstand.
And since your history of silence won’t do you any good
Let your words be anything but empty.
Why don’t you tell them the Truth?
Show me how big your brave is.
I've realized that I am way too perfectionistic in the communication part of my life. This actually ties in with something that I mentioned in my last post, where I mentioned my lack of keeping in touch. It plays out in so many ways: I'm afraid of wording things incorrectly, saying something I don't mean when I'm in conversation, or making a mistake in my "fun" writing. I go so far as to draft letters to friends 3-5 times before writing the final version, and I type many letters up before mailing them in case I “need” to refer back to them later. It keeps me from putting my words out there all too often.
I’ve come to discover that I am very easy to interrupt. I don’t know why this is. (If you are friends with me and know why this happens, please inform me, via text, blog comment, email, phone call, letter, or any other form of communication. I’m serious.) I am tempted to think it’s because I just hesitate a lot when I speak, because I want to make absolutely sure that I say what I mean to say. It’s also tied into the fact that I’m extreme introvert, and my Myers-Briggs personality report tells me that I “always think before I speak”. Why yes, that’s true. But why the perfectionism in speaking?
Interestingly, I don’t think half as much with my very close friends. Once I start to become more comfortable with someone, I think less and less before speaking to them. They will probably tell you otherwise, but I like to think that I have better un-planned conversations than the planned ones. If I have a casual yet deep conversation with someone, it’s generally a good indicator that I think highly of them and feel comfortable enough around them to not feel it necessary to plan out my next sentence. Why this perfectionism with words?
I remember realizing that not everyone plans their next sentence. I wondered why not; what if they say something that’s taken the wrong way? It’s a vicious circle: I feel it necessary to plan my words out, so I take at least 5-10 minutes memorizing the exact phrasing, and by the time I’ve prepared myself for what I’m going to say, the opportunity has passed and there’s another subject. So I succeed in convincing myself that I’m 1000% introverted (no, that extra ‘0’ wasn’t a typo) and that planning those words is absolutely necessary for me to be coherent. Surprise! friends, it’s not.
I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you want to say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly I want to see you be brave.
This little corner of the internet is a place that I feel like I am both very free to say whatever, and at the same time, feel trapped. I don’t have fear of saying things like “I don’t think the Sadie Hawkins is a great idea” or “I had a hard time in relationships with my siblings when I was younger, but now it’s great!” What those reading don’t realize is the hours it takes me to write, edit, re-edit, think about the consequences of posting x, y, or z, and edit once again. Usually my posts take days to write, simply because I never feel like it’s good enough or that one person will take it the wrong way. It's draining to feel incompetent in this area that I feel like I should be a part of.
I’m attempting to do a better job of just letting my words flow. Of trusting myself enough to know I’m not going to say something idiotic every single time I open my mouth. To know those around me well enough to recognize my words won’t be mocked or criticized when I speak or write them. To not edit the words I write to oblivion. Because ultimately, it destroys the sentiment and obliterates the original feeling and meaning I give them.
Know what I’ve realized? it’s ok if people misunderstand.
And since your history of silence won’t do you any good
Let your words be anything but empty.
Why don’t you tell them the Truth?
I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you want to say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly I want to see you be brave.
Say what you want to say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly I want to see you be brave.