Today I made a wrong turn.
I made a wrong turn that cost me 25 minutes.
25 minutes, and peace.
I was driving to pick up my niece from soccer practice. I was on time, traffic was good, I was cruising along and listening to music. But I made a left instead of a right. I ended up on the wrong side of town, and when I went to correct that wrong turn, I made another wrong turn.
Almost half an hour later, my patience with myself was wearing thin (read: it was completely gone). My poor niece was sitting at the field, waiting for me, and I wasn't there. I had let her down. But even bigger in my own mind, I had let myself down. I'd failed as a driver, an aunt, a person.
Hold up.
Isn't this a bit drastic?
Uh, yeah. But I didn't realize it until later.
I got home after dropping her at home and just wanted to take a run. Spoiler alert: I have never "just wanted to take a run" before. So I knew 1) Yay! I am getting better with exercising! and 2) I was really stressed. And in the course of that run, I realized that I was putting way too much pressure on myself. I had made an honest mistake, I hadn't meant to get lost twice. My niece was safe, her mom knew she was safe, and I got to her as quickly as possible.
So where was the problem? In my own head. Not with the wrong turn, but instead with my perception of myself and how I dealt with the situation. The problem was that I allowed my 'value' to sit completely in my timeliness and ability to not make a mistake.
*newsflash*: Everyone makes mistakes. And yes, timeliness is important, but an occasional slip-up is part of being human. I'm human. I'm allowed (and expected) to make a mistake every now and then.
So maybe I should go running more often, if only to come to more self-realizations. Maybe I should accept my imperfections as God-given quirks or ways to grow in holiness. And maybe I should allow myself to make a wrong turn sometimes (though not when an 8-year-old is waiting for me....).
I must accept my own humanity as I accept the humanity of others.
I made a wrong turn that cost me 25 minutes.
25 minutes, and peace.
I was driving to pick up my niece from soccer practice. I was on time, traffic was good, I was cruising along and listening to music. But I made a left instead of a right. I ended up on the wrong side of town, and when I went to correct that wrong turn, I made another wrong turn.
Almost half an hour later, my patience with myself was wearing thin (read: it was completely gone). My poor niece was sitting at the field, waiting for me, and I wasn't there. I had let her down. But even bigger in my own mind, I had let myself down. I'd failed as a driver, an aunt, a person.
Hold up.
Isn't this a bit drastic?
Uh, yeah. But I didn't realize it until later.
I got home after dropping her at home and just wanted to take a run. Spoiler alert: I have never "just wanted to take a run" before. So I knew 1) Yay! I am getting better with exercising! and 2) I was really stressed. And in the course of that run, I realized that I was putting way too much pressure on myself. I had made an honest mistake, I hadn't meant to get lost twice. My niece was safe, her mom knew she was safe, and I got to her as quickly as possible.
So where was the problem? In my own head. Not with the wrong turn, but instead with my perception of myself and how I dealt with the situation. The problem was that I allowed my 'value' to sit completely in my timeliness and ability to not make a mistake.
*newsflash*: Everyone makes mistakes. And yes, timeliness is important, but an occasional slip-up is part of being human. I'm human. I'm allowed (and expected) to make a mistake every now and then.
So maybe I should go running more often, if only to come to more self-realizations. Maybe I should accept my imperfections as God-given quirks or ways to grow in holiness. And maybe I should allow myself to make a wrong turn sometimes (though not when an 8-year-old is waiting for me....).
I must accept my own humanity as I accept the humanity of others.
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